Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Happy Birthday, PA Babies!

This entry is in celebration of two birthdays-my two nieces living in Lancaster, PA: Juliet and Adrienne! Juliet turned 1 on 07/23 and Adri will be turning 15 on 08/01. Here are some of my favorite things about these girfs:

-Playing Barbies with Adri. She has a crazy voice for her Barbies and it is just too hilarious and makes you want to talk in that same crazy voice all day.

-Juliet's fatty arms/legs. Can you even handle it?!

-The fact that Juliet could be Adri's big sister.

-When the babies hate everyone that isn't Mom or Dad. I don't know why I think this is the funniest thing on earth (see above picture of Adri).

-Crazy ratty baby hair. Best thing ever.

Happy Birthday, babies! I hope your day is a wonderful dream come true and that you get all the glass slippers/beautiful ball gowns/fairy wands you've ever dreamed of!

Monday, July 14, 2008

You Know You're a UVU Student When (and yes, this is based off of real-life experience)...

  • Your upper-division Race and Minority Relations Professor just asked you to type a one-page paper on the history of hot dogs.

  • You are offered extra credit in English 1010 if you wear orange, black or brown on Halloween.

  • You get to class and your teacher has written on the board "All late assignments, up to this point, need to be turned in by Friday or you will only receive 80% of the credit"...this is halfway through the semester.

  • Your Astronomy teacher tells you not to worry about asteroids attacking the earth, because our first line of defense is Bruce Willis.

  • Preparation for finals means renting the Bon Losse Hair Academy girls to come give massages in the Hall of Flags.

  • During group presentations in your Communications class, one group begins by singing the Primary "turn your frown into a smile" song, while holding smiley-face masks in front of their faces. They got an A-.

  • Your Communications 1010 teacher has a resume that includes "Professional Clown".

  • Your 7 Habits of Highly Effective People class accidentally turned into a testimony meeting.

  • If you're hungry, you know that someone is bound to be handing out free popcorn somewhere on campus. No one knows why. It just happens.

  • It's election time in the business hall. As you are walking past the booths, you hear one of the candidates yell "Vote for Team HOT!" Because that's what qualifies them for office.

This post will be done in installments. This is just the first. If you have any suggestions, please feel free to let me know.

*Disclaimer: I like UVU. Situations like these are not an every day occurrence, but when they do come up...it is a real treat.

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Provo Culture Chapter 6: Parkway Crossing Residents

Want to avoid the Honor Code at all costs? Looking for a place where you can bump and grind to your 18-19-yr-old heart's content? All you need to do is look west of the Freeway.

Why People Move In:

1. They're heard it advertised on 97.1.
2. Their Mom/Dad saw it from the freeway, it sure looks nice, doesn't it?!
3. Their hussy of a sister lived their a year or two previous.
4. They like the idea of living amongst the Mormons, without having to deal with all the fuss of the Honor Code. They'll have as much substance abuse as they can handle, thank you very much!

Year-Round Dress Code Includes: tank tops, flip flops, flat-brimmed gangsta hats and more cologne than you can shake a stick at!

Fun/Flirty/and Mostly Incoherent Staff: Comprised mostly of REALLY tan 20 yr olds, the front office is almost exactly like an episode of Blind Date (minus the cartoons). Don't be surprised when they misplace your credit card number and accidently charge you $300 for utilities. No one said it was their job to do things right.

Testimony Meetings You Can't Resist: The wards at Pkwy Cxing are spiritual AND sexy (due to the lack of clothing). And if you've ever wanted to hear someone confess their sins, over the pulpit, you have struck solid gold with these apartments!

Parties That are "Off the Chain": Pkwy is known for their xtreme dance parties, often thrown in their parking lots. All the Ciara, Chris Brown and Yin-Yang Twins you can handle, dawg. Also, if you are male, you are 100% guaranteed the numbers of at least 24 girls (note: these girls are all under the age of 19).

Guys Named Shane/Kade/Taylor: So many bros who are currently enrolled in 1 class at UVU (they can't handle more than that in one semester) and spend the rest of their time checking out the babes in the Hall of Flags/Woodbury Building, laying out at the pool, and perfecting their faux-hawks.

Girls Named Brittany/Ashley/Chantel: So many blondes wearing fake eyelashes and Uggs! If they're not at home, they're most likely in the LA building of UVU, stretching out in front of the dance studios (they can't do this inside the classroom).

Drug Busts: What are the cops doing there so late? Busting your neighbors on a possession charge. Not to worry, they'll share their pot with you before they get caught.

Whatever That Smell is in the Elevator: I don't know. I can't even try to have an explanation for this one.

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Seriously So Blessed

Listen up, blogging world: I've officially found the second best blog ever. I don't know who the creator is, but they are genius and I will be inviting them to my home for a celebratory feast as soon as possible.

Cat's List of Things That the 2nd Best Blog Ever Must Have:

  1. Making fun of things Provo residents do: check

  2. Every blogging cliche possible: check

  3. Reference to all-things-mormon aka Twilight series, selling candles out of your home, and pronouncing Lake Powell "Lake Pal": check

  4. Saying how "blessed" you are in every entry: check

  5. Being the highlight of my day: check

Special thanks to Brian Corry for finding all the funny things and letting me in on the secrets. Keep in mind that this blog is NOT serious. It's just awesome.

Seriously So Blessed: Second Best Blog of All Time