4:00PM: Vowed to go home early and start writing a talk, in order to be done by at least 9:00PM.

5:30ish PM: Got off work.

6:00PM-9:30PM: Wasted time.

9:30PM-1:15AM (present): Started writing talk, funned around on the interweb, downloaded some music from the CD "80 Great Movie Themes" (I don't know either, so don't ask), continued writing talk...

Projected Time to Finish Talk: 2:30ish AM?

9:00AM: Present talk in Sacrament Meeting.

Well done, Catherine.

Things That Have (or will) Change in the Life of Cathers:

Then: Provo

Now: Salt Lake City

Then: Singles Ward full of people like this.

Now: A ward full of normal people. Holy crap.

Then: DVR-less.

Now: DVR (has saved my life probably 117 times already-no joke).

Then: No gay friends who are married to illegal lesbian immigrants.

Now: One gay friend who is actually married to an illegal lesbian immigrant.

Then: Weekly visits to Sam Hawk (best Korean restaurant of all time).

Now: Trying (unsuccessfully) to find a Salt Lake substitute for Sam Hawk.

Then: No ipod. For reals-it made me feel better than all of you who conformed.

Now: Ipod. Now I'm just a faceless idiot for Apple to brainwash just like everyone else.

Then: Conan O'Brien.

Now: Introducing...my boyfriend, Jimmy Fallon.

Then: Jay Leno.

Now: Introducing...my other boyfriend, Conan O'brien.

Then: Only Diet Coke.

Now: Diet Coke and Vitamin Water-the orange one tastes just like Tang. Not kidding.

Then: Duffy, Feist, M. Ward.

Now: 90s Jams, Ting Tings, The Elected.

Then: Had not yet discovered Jackie and Debra/Jersey Mom.

Now: Have discovered Jackie and Debra/Jersey Mom and there is nothing in this world that could make me even 1/4 as happy.

Just a morsel of the tom foolery I've come to endure, neigh, RELISH here in SLC.

Forever Yours,

catjaner

Listen you guys, I really need roughly $4,000,000

I have a really good idea for a movie, who wants to produce it? I can't let you in on all the details (I don't want everyone taking the ideas and turning them into Hannah Montana-or whoever is running Hollywood at the moment-for a quick buck) but here are a few keywords:

Lottery
Parker Posey
Christopher Guest
TAMN
JJWT
The Deep South
Paternity Test

You get the idea. It's going to be amazing. I know, cinema is boring, but it's a part of my life.

I'm so happy about THIS, this, and this. You're welcome.

I WON!

My faith in contests has been restored. TAMN has selected me for the winner of some Sweet Tooth Fairy Cupcakes and I cannot wait to collect my prize. The cupcakes are so glam-check them out here. You can also get cookies and all kinds of crap from this bakery, order a million things from them here.

Special thanks to Leandra for telling me about my winnings. You will be sampling these little babies.

TIP PANIC: (tip, pan-ik) noun, verb:

A sudden, overwhelming fear that one's gratuity is insufficient. Often followed by irrational thinking, leading to an overly-generous tip. Most cases occur in ethnic restaurants, most likely due to the language barrier or fear that waiter/tress is a refugee.

Anyone else ever get this?

Diet Coke + Toast = Crazy Delicious