Thursday, June 24, 2010

Horcrux on the B-Rain

Listen. I've been doing some thinking and I've decided that, were I to make a horcrux (actually, several of them), this is what they would be (chosen for their ability to entrance):
Journal From Ages 12-15:

Why would I choose this, you ask? I'll tell you. Because every time I read over it, the spirit of Tween Cat takes over my brain. It posesses me, just like Tom Riddle posessed Ginny Weasley. Except that, when I posess myself, I don't write blood messages on walls and release giant snakes, but rather I just allow myself to be sucked into the world of adolescent drama. You know what I mean. "We all had to go to Holzer's office today to talk about Jessica and Lacey"...or "I can't believe Julianne and Oliver kissed!" or how about..."this weekend was so awesome-we all went to Dayne's house and then walked around Somerset in our tank tops!"

PJR Necklace:

When I was 11ish, some friends and I were admiring the fine jewelry at the local K-Mart when something caught our eyes, amidst the "best friend necklaces". Imagine this-a single charm with the letters P, J, R, followed by a bold !. That's it. What the crap does PJR mean? I didn't know then, I don't know now. Needless to say, we bought it and it has been in my jewelry box ever know, so I don't forget my roots or something. The point is, PJR is totally going to Horcrux it up.

One of Leandra's Scarecrow Crafts

When I lived with Leandra, I'm fairly positive there were 8 (at the very least) scarecrow crafts in our living room during the months of October and November. She could spare at least one of them for my horcrux. She would make one for herself too, because she loves Harry Potter just as much as I do. Well. Almost as much. She and Jesse did think that he would die in the 7th book. But I held strong.

Laguna Beach Seasons 1-2, The Hills Seasons 1-Present

Don't act like your life hasn't been put on hold for these programs. It doesn't matter how stupid they are, you can't tear yourself away. Maybe we should make Justin Bobby a horcrux of his own because he is my favorite character.

Cafe Rio Chicken Salad:

This would be my horcrux equivalent to the "Get Out of Jail Free" card. I think I would just have this on the road to the next horcrux, so whoever is on the quest to kill me can have a little pick-me-up. Keep going! You're almost there!

Jimmy Fallon:

Jimmy and Cath. Cath and Jimmy. For those of you who don't know, Jimmy is me (only I am a girf and he is a boy). He can probably see into my mind at night. I've decided that I have to mark him as my equal. Naturally, he will have to be the one to finish me off but, what can a girl do?


Jesse said...

love it. and don't act like Harry didn't die in the last book, he simply was brought back to life.

Jesse said...

oh and my Horcruxes: LOST Seasons 1-6, Eagle neckless puchased in mexico when i was like 10, my fav copy of To Kill a Mocking Bird, The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, and my arch nemesis who will not be named

Leandra said...

I gue I lo thi po!

My Horcruxes (do I only get 7 or can I do more?):

Yep one of the scarecrows or woodland creatures, but I'm not telling which one. Book 7 of the Harry Potter Series, my green obey hat (ha ha ha ah), the Homer Simpson Window decal that was on my first car, a game of monopoly and a bag of white chocolate peanut butter cups.

Four Winns said...

You still HAVE the PJR necklace?? Woah. Wasn't there another one that had something equally stupid on it?

Four Winns said...

Here are my horcuxes: Galaxy, Mom's copy of A Little Princess, that white tiger poster Keith gave me for Christmas one time, my new pizza cutter, Zoobooks (tiger edition), a box of jr. mints, and like an old shoe - that way they'd never figure out the last one.

Jesse said...

oh I have to add Mittens as my last Horcrux. Also what are you freaks and geeks doing for 4th of july? we should get our fireworks on.

becca said...

tank tops in somerset?? scandalous.

that holzer was creepo.

Brian said...

Secret confession: I had to look up "horcrux" on wikipedia. I still don't comprehend because galaxy quest distracted me from my research.

Carly said...

get that joven guy out of here.

i love walking around somerset in tank tops...ha ha ha ha. it is almost as good as julianne and oliver kissing.

i just peed my pants for 10 minutes straight.

The McLane Blog Page: said...

I think my number 1 Horcrux is going to be my EFY journal-- for obvious reasons...

fry said...

I've read this post like a hundred times, and I'm so TO'D that I've never read the comments before.

I need to know Jesse's arch nemesis.

I lol'd for 5 minutes at, "I gue I lo thi po!", and Carley peeing her pants for 10 minutes straight.

fry said...

Joven, can you take a xanax?

fry said...

My horcruxes so far:

FJH/DHS hate journal- you would HAVE to stab it with a snake tooth

Audrey Hepburn's face