Friday, September 3, 2010

For Your Consideration

I've been doing a lot of thinking and this is what I've decided: I think Captain Hook was just a regular dude.

Who wouldn't look like a dullard next to FuN pEtEr PaN? Let's just review these characters:

Peter Pan:

Occupation: None
Hobbies: Smoking peote with the "Red Man"
Hot Friends: Tinkerbell, Mermaids of Neverland, Tiger Lilly
Keeps Company With: Rufio. Rufio. Ru. Fi. Ooooooooooooooo.
Awesome Extras: Fairy Dust, endless supply of happy thoughts, crows when excited, impressive thimble collection.

Captain Hook:

Occupation: Pirate
Hobbies: Hand Recovery/Crocodile Chasing
Hot Friends: None
Keeps Company With: Smee
Awesome Extras: Owns own home/ship, supervisor for 50+ shipmates, mustache "ticks" when crocodile is within a 50 yard radius.

See? Who would YOU rather be friends with? But consider this-what if you had to share an island with the Lost Boys? Why are they always making Indian noises and screaming and refusing to be responsible? GET A JOB, Lost Boys. Leave Captain Hook alone-he only has one hand for heaven's sake!

Anyway. This is the conclusion I've come to. Just think it over.