Friday, September 3, 2010

For Your Consideration

I've been doing a lot of thinking and this is what I've decided: I think Captain Hook was just a regular dude.

Who wouldn't look like a dullard next to FuN pEtEr PaN? Let's just review these characters:

Peter Pan:

Occupation: None
Hobbies: Smoking peote with the "Red Man"
Hot Friends: Tinkerbell, Mermaids of Neverland, Tiger Lilly
Keeps Company With: Rufio. Rufio. Ru. Fi. Ooooooooooooooo.
Awesome Extras: Fairy Dust, endless supply of happy thoughts, crows when excited, impressive thimble collection.

Captain Hook:

Occupation: Pirate
Hobbies: Hand Recovery/Crocodile Chasing
Hot Friends: None
Keeps Company With: Smee
Awesome Extras: Owns own home/ship, supervisor for 50+ shipmates, mustache "ticks" when crocodile is within a 50 yard radius.

See? Who would YOU rather be friends with? But consider this-what if you had to share an island with the Lost Boys? Why are they always making Indian noises and screaming and refusing to be responsible? GET A JOB, Lost Boys. Leave Captain Hook alone-he only has one hand for heaven's sake!

Anyway. This is the conclusion I've come to. Just think it over.


Four Winns said...

I keep telling Adri she should get a job. I should totally read her this post.

fry said...

Peter Pan is a hipster and a terrorist. PANNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!

Rand said...

I was disappointed with Peter Pan when he moved Neverland to Michael Jackson's ranch in CA. I mean, come on. What a sell out.

becca said...

peter is fem, but hook is not hot. i don't know how to choose.

fry said...

Nothing can ruin your day more than Peter curse Pan.

Spinning Girl said...

this is the best thing I have read in a while. Thank you for being hilarious!

Andrea said...

where did your brain come from? You are hilar... ps will you add me to your list of friends as "jandi"? or dax...

Tara said...

You don't know me. I don't know you. But I adore this Blog. And this post was BRILLIANT.

Carly said...

Ha ha ha. This is brillz. Brillz I tell you. Where have I been and why have I not read this yet.