Thursday, October 14, 2010

I'm all up in your business.

Sometimes I drive around and wonder why people name their businesses what they do. I can't understand sometimes. Let's just give a few examples, shall we?

Expectation: Some kind of strip club for minors?
Reality: Greek restaurant in Holladay. Yes, it absolutely is as creepy as it sounds-at least from the outside. You guys, I can't just be eating in a place that's called "Tickles". And just try to tell me you don't picture all of the patrons in hospital gowns. I don't know why, it just seems logical. It's the kind of establishment you think Kim Jong Il might run.
Side Note: I had a friend in high school who we called "Benny Tickles". That is the best nickname ever.

Majestic Lube

Expectation: Whatever it is, it has about the same amount of creepiness as Candy Mountain from Charlie the Unicorn.
Reality: Oil Changery in the Fort Union area...somewhere east of Target (side note: everything in the Fort Union area can be measured by its proximity to Target). You guys, let's be real. There is nothing MAJESTIC about an oil change.

Creme De Bakery:
Expectation: You might assume you're in for french pastries and cursive penmanship and roses and all kinds of girly nonsense.
Reality: You're in for unfamiliar asian cuisine (that is filled with beans for some reason) and cheesecake. Serious. Those are the only things they serve there.

Taffy Towne:
Expectation: It's going to be exactly like Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and you'll be sliding down a laffy taffy waterslide into a cotton candy pool! Well look think kids, you're wrong. DEAD WRONG.
Reality: Have you ever seen Taffy Town? So I've never been "inside" or "up close". I can tell you this-there's no way that place isn't a secret hide-out for super-villains. You know, like on Batman when The Joker takes up residence at the old, abandoned toy factory and starts cranking out dolls that are stuffed with crack. That's just what happens in places like this.

I just don't know, you guys.


j. said...

so glad we're friends now. here's the deal--creme de bakery? you sparked my interest. no, i don't enjoy unfamiliar asian cuisine riddled with beans, but yes, i am intrigued.
taffy towne--this is where i get cooler--i've had a private tour of taffy towne with the mayor of taffy towne himself (ok, he holds no actual political office, but it's what i like to call him) and it is exactly how you imagine it. only more brown (i imagine that you imagine it in vivid colors, and that's where you go wrong).

becca said...

i'll never step foot in any of those places.

except when i have a hankering for asian food filled with beans. then and only then.

Leandra said...

I'm pissed at Taffy Town. I wanted that to be a delicious dream.

Let me tell you about wierd store names, Cat. Scrapbook stores have the WIERDEST NAMES. My personal favorite- The Snobby Walrus. Yep, Snobby Walrus. How would you not know that was a scrapbook store by the name?

Brian said...

I walked into Taffy Town and, seriously, the receptionist lady almost fell off her chair she was so shocked that she had a customer.

You've got the Fort Union thing all wrong. Target is NW of the Kalubis. The Kalubis own Fort Union.

Carly said...

I don't want to have anything to do with Tickles or Kim Jong Il. BUT...I am going to Creme De Bakery and there is nothing you can do to stop me.

P.S. the word verification right now is panti.

Leandra said...

hey why did my comment use symbols like I said explitives? I think I just said d y i n g. that's wierd. Were you wondering why I was swearing at Taffy town?

Andrea said...

That's hilar. Tyler totally ate at tickles by the way...scurry.

I also had the same problem with an unknown asian restaurant naming themselves as a french pastry restaurant. there's one in WVC and we need to go there.