Saturday, May 31, 2008

Things to Avoid While Traveling

I am home and with only one complaint: why can't the airport just be a normal place where all you have to do is present your ticket, get a boarding pass, and be on your merry way? This is what usually happens to me when I arrive at the airport:

Attempted Action: Give my bags to the nice people on the curb so I don't have to deal with checking my baggage.

What Really Happens: I give the Sky Cap my paper ticket, only to have them search through their "database" for approximately 15 min while mumbling things like "Well I just don't see your reservation in here..." and "Maybe if I try...nope, that didn't work either..."and then tell me that I don't actually have a ticket, and probably don't really exist as a human being. This is followed by a long series of negotiations/phone calls to supervisors/blackmails/me having a mild panic attack/and finally the resolution-I was right the entire time.

My Prediction: The Sky Cap is not looking through a "database" at all, but instead is looking through all the cards in his/her game of Solitaire. I think they like to watch patrons, such as myself, suffer.

Sidenote: This seriously happens EVERY time I fly. Most recently I was actually forced to purchase a new ticket out of Hawaii, which was refunded 3 minutes later, upon discovery of the already existing ticket. Wow.

Attempted Action: Get all the bags through security as to make sure I am not a terrorist threat to the airline.

What Really Happens: Upon close examination of my bags, it is usually discovered that I have accidentally packed all of my liquids in my carry-on and am now forced to go back downstairs and check an additional bag.

My Prediction: It's not a good idea to pack at 1-2 in the morning. You will forget protocol.

Attempted Action: Get to layover city-board connecting flight successfully.

What Really Happens: There are a few options here: (A) Flight I am on is late and you have to run like crazy to find the next one, (B) Your itinerary has secretly been changed by CheapTickets (seriously-no email updates or anything) and you must now adapt to whatever they want (C) You have either landed at LAX or PHL and the airport layout is so messed up that you will probably never get out alive.

My Prediction: I actually don't have any thoughts on this one. It just happens every time.

Attempted Action: Retrieve bags as to have an enjoyable and stress-free vacation.

What Really Happens: Bags somehow end up across the country. Airport personnel assures you that bags will be delivered promptly the next morning.

My Prediction: Airport personnel actually wants to go through your bags first-if they find something good, they will take it and say it got lost.

That is all.


Brady and Taryn said...

i hope you can notice that i posted this about 3 seconds after you made your post!! its because taryn and i have been waiting and watching your blog for the second of your triumphant return...we need to have you over for a post vacation party with lea and the temp soon!

ps, your not the only one who can post comments on ricksters facebook foods :)

Carly said...

Cathers, I am so glad you are home. My phone mysteriously had a bottle of water dumped on it and no longer works...I will call you tomorrow after I get a new one. Can't wait to hear about the trip.

P.S. Cheap Tickets wants to ruin lives. Everytime we fly with them there is a secret layover that we didn't know about and is not on our itinerary.

Leandra said...

let it be known that I started the trend of acknowledging rick-stars foods. He is such a champ.

fry said...

"uh oh.......I just don't....I can't...."

"It kicking me out....what?"

"well, we can get you to Oregon."

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