Friday, February 22, 2008

The Joys of Human Resources


For my job, I am constantly looking through resumes and conducting interviews with potential employees. I have been doing this for a few months but I'm still shocked at how people conduct themselves during an interview and what they will write on their resumes. Here are a few of my favorites:


Emails/misc facts I have found on resumes:


  • studmanluv69@......

  • monkeywitch@....

  • mcshits_house_of_love@...

  • motherrucker@...

  • One guy claimed he was an "Ambassador of Religion to France" for 2 years aka served a mission.

  • Under hobbies and interests: "I've made mistakes but hey, I'm not Mother Teresa, ok?!"...actually this turned out to be a fake resume, but hilarious nonetheless.


Felonies potential employees have been charged with:


  • Possession of marijuana and a sword

Things people have admitted (totally unsolicited from me) in interviews:


  • They were just diagnosed with Hepetitis C, and have had it for 15 years-without having any idea there was a problem...until their skin turned yellow.

  • Their "baby mama" just started having contractions. Oh...the time old tale of baby mama drama...

  • That, in prison, all the sex offenders get beat up and "knifed" in the yard. No one likes a sex offender!

  • (Upon poking at his teeth for most of the interview) He let me know that he was just getting used to his new denchers (this guy was no older than 25 and I'm pretty sure he was a big fan of the crystal meth). Yes I did have to shake his hand afterward and yes I did scrub my hand with steel wool. I ordered a code red on myself.

Needless to say my job keeps me fairly entertained.

7 comments:

Carly said...

ha ha ha. i love your life. give it to me...give it to me right now!

Jenny Payne said...

Cat do you work for Employment Services Utah?? Why on earth are you fnding yourself interviewing ex-cons, and people whose email address includes sexual inuendo?? I wish somehow I could be a fly on the wall in your interviews(like Clay Aiken) Thanks for getting a blog I don't know where my time was spent before you joined the BAA (Bloggers of America Association) Blog On.
p.s. I can't wait to check your page every day for new and exciting updates its fine to blogstalk.

cat.janer said...

Jenny. I work for a staffing agency, yes. It is a real treat. We love to stalk each other.

Leia said...

I love this post so much. It is the funniest thing I've ever read. You must enjoy your job.

Marci & Daniel said...

so funny! he he he. makes me want to change my email address to something sassy.

RicAnn said...

He he he. I keep laughing because I I am thinkin to myself those are real people and you are a very lucky person to able to work with them :)

Dan and Laura said...

Well done Cat. I guess i'd better change my studman email address.